What is the performative male trend? Explained why women no longer trust dating app green flags

The dating apps have evolved. Unfortunately, so have the tactics. Once upon a time, the biggest red flag was a blurry mirror selfie or a bio that simply read “ask me.” Now, women are dealing with something far more insidious: the man who looks perfect on paper and deeply hollow in practice. Enter the performative male.

He has been around since the early days of Tinder, but the internet has finally given him a name and, more importantly, a roast.



The performative male is not overtly awful. That is what makes him dangerous. His profile is a carefully curated highlight reel of green flags: cuddling dogs, holding babies, smiling softly in linen shirts, and radiating what can only be described as Golden Retriever Boyfriend Energy.

The catch? None of it feels real.

His bio makes sure to clarify that the baby is not his. The dog also belongs to a friend. The hobbies feel suspiciously tailored to what women are stereotypically expected to like. It is masculinity, optimised for likes.



Online, memes have started dragging this behaviour for what it is: a performance. Women are pointing out that while liking dogs or children is not a red flag, using them as props absolutely is.

The issue is not interest. It is intention.

When these gestures feel hollow, they land like brand-safe activism or corporate feminism. Empty signals designed to make someone appear kind, safe, and emotionally intelligent without actually doing the work.



The performative male assumes women are a monolith. He treats dating like a game to be hacked, leaning into what he thinks women want rather than who he actually is.

It is the same energy as men announcing their height with passive-aggressive commentary or pretending to like astrology while making fun of it. The subtext is always the same: “I am above this, but I will use it anyway.”

That is where it starts to feel patronising.

There is something particularly uncomfortable about men using stereotypically “female-coded” interests as bait while simultaneously distancing themselves from those interests. It reinforces the idea that these things are trivial, unserious, or embarrassing, yet still useful for attraction.

And the use of children and animals? That is where many women draw the line. Babies and dogs did not consent to being part of your dating strategy.



If his profile feels like it was focus-grouped, trust your gut. If every photo is designed to signal safety rather than personality, pause. And if he tells you exactly what you want to hear before he knows who you are, run.

Because gentlemen, the jig is up. The performance is obvious. And the internet is watching.